fall in love with
the agony of love
not the ecstasy
then the beloved
will fall in love with you
— Rumi
Does the wanting, the longing, the infatuation always fade away?
Speaking with a friend recently my friend shared that he had begun to wonder about his daughter dating. He acknowledged how different his parenting for her felt in contrast to his parenting of his son. “It’s funny the things you think about,” he mused. His daughter is still a toddler. I could have laughed, but that would have betrayed the honesty of his story and the resonance in my own experience.
In the midst of all of the cultural projections about sexuality and gender that are placed upon our children from their earliest years, there is also the reality that raising children in any capacity- from parent to mentor, to teacher to coach, requires that you be willing to look into your own life. It is pretty challenging to work, for example, with teenagers to not ever recall your own teenage years.
My own teenage years are filled with a host of memories, mostly safe for public consumption but there are, of course, a few I’d rather not share. I know someday as a parent, all too soon, I will be compelled to face who I was and who I am in some rather uncomfortable ways! At the top of my list that I’d rather not look into, are the memories where I was infatuated with someone, head over heels in love. I feel embarrassed by how swept away I was in those years, the sense of foolishness rushes over me just recalling the moments.
And yet, why should any of us be embarrassed? And moreover, why should we ever outgrow being in love?
We need more fools rushing in, more hope-makers, more lovers lost in the vision of the beloved world! I say three cheers for being foolish and heartsick, for being in love and sometimes heartbroken! Yes, being vulnerable can lead to heartbreak. No doubt. In my own life, I’ve discovered that heartbreak is the site of spiritual growth. In the midst of lament, there emerges new compassion, wisdom, and love.
So it is I welcome you to this month of exploring desire. Come with your longing and wishes, come with what brings you alive. A little poem to get us all started…
"Praise for the Fools Rushing In"
What if you were lovesick with life?
Longing, rushing, running,
Waiting by the phone …
Tweeting unabashed about your infatuation..
Heart racing as your skin grows hot for this life?
What if the knots in your stomach signaled that this matters, this was worth wanting, this was the world of a desire pulsing across the ages?
What if you were the fool that rushed in?
What then…
If your heartbreak became the site of strength
If your skin didn’t grow tough but
Stayed electric?
What if you didn’t outgrow being alive?
Offer deep sighs for what yet could be.
Pray for soft silhouettes, holy incarnate, carrying us all in their rapture toward daybreak.
Burn with the fire of what matters most.
Fall into Eden.
With faith in the journey,
Rev. Robin
